Showing affection to your children

Showing affection to your children

Abu Hurairah narrated: "Al-Aqra bin Habis saw the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) kissing Al-Hasan and Al-Husain. So he said, 'I have ten children and I do not kiss any one of them.' So the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, 'Whoever shows no mercy, he will be shown no mercy.'" [Jami At-Tirmidhi - graded sahih]The feeling of love and affection towards one's children and kissing them when young is a proof of the person's having the quality of tenderness, love and affection in his heart.

Teaching self-control skills is one of the most important things that parents can do for their kids because these are some of the most important skills for success later in life.

Helping Kids Learn Self-Control

By learning self-control, kids can make appropriate decisions and respond to stressful situations in ways that can yield positive outcomes.

Up to Age 2

Infants and toddlers get frustrated by the large gap between the things they want to do and what they're able to do. They often respond with temper tantrums. Try to prevent outbursts by distracting your little one with toys or other activities.

Ages 3 to 5

You can continue to use timeouts, but rather than enforcing a specific time limit, end timeouts once your child has calmed down. This helps kids improve their sense of self-control. And praise your child for not losing control in frustrating or difficult situations.

Ages 6 to 9

Teach them how to pray. Narrated Abu Dawood, the Prophet(PBUH) said: " Three persons are exempt from responsibility: the sleeping person until he awakens, the boy until he reaches puberty, and the insane person ntil sanity is restored to him." Maturity is a condition for the obligation of prayer, not for its validity. Consequently, a boy who can realize what prayer is and knows how to recite, a prayer that is performed by him is valid.Not only this, his parents should also command him to perform prayer to familiarize  him with it even though i is not enjoined on him. As kids enter school, they're better able to understand the idea of consequences and that they can choose good or bad behavior. It may help your child to imagine a stop sign that must be obeyed and think about a situation before responding. Encourage your child to walk away from a frustrating situation for a few minutes to cool off instead of having an outburst.

Ages 10 to 12

Older kids usually better understand their feelings. Encourage them to think about what's causing them to lose control and then analyze it. Explain that sometimes the situations that are upsetting at first don't end up being so awful. Urge kids to take time to think before responding to a situation

Ages 13 to 17

The Prophet (Alayhi salatu Wa Salam) said : " Command your children to perform prayer when they become 7 years old, beat them them for neglecting it when they become 10 years old, and arrange their beds separately. "Narrated Ahamad and others. By now kids should be able to control most of their actions. But remind teens to think about long-term consequences. Urge them to pause to evaluate upsetting situations before responding and talk through problems rather than losing control, slamming doors, or yelling. If necessary, discipline your teen by taking away certain privileges to reinforce the message that self-control is an important skill.

Some pink and purple room suggestions

 

When Kids Are Out of Control

As difficult as it may be, resist the urge to yell when you're disciplining your kids. Instead, be firm and matter of fact. During a child's meltdown, stay calm and explain that yelling, throwing a tantrum, and slamming doors are unacceptable behaviors that have consequences — and say what those consequences are.

And model good self-control yourself. If you're in an irritating situation and your kids are present, tell them why you're frustrated and then discuss the potential solutions to the problem. For example, if you've misplaced your keys, instead of getting upset, tell your kids the keys are missing and then search for them together. If they don't turn up, take the next constructive step (like retracing your steps when you last had the keys in-hand). Show that good emotional control and problem solving are the ways to deal with a difficult situation.